maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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