I wish they made helmets for livers.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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