I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
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Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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