Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize