Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize