hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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