Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
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It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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