It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
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I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
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I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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