im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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