UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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