I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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