i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize