ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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