Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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