Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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