Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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