She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize