I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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