Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i jhust puked up my retainher.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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