my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize