I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
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we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
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I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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