another moral hangover. fuck.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize