he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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