dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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