If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize