I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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