hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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