why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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