He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize