my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize