I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I am naked and annoyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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