Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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