He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
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No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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