obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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