Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
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Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
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I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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