I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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