I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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