So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize