So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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