Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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