i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
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One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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