just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
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He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
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Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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