hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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