guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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