I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize