I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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