Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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