"it" just moved
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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