quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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