shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize